13 Essential Things to Remember This Pride Month

Hello friends, and welcome to my favorite month of the year which also happens to be Gay Buffet's one-year anniversary. If you've been here since the beginning, thank you for continuing to read, and if you're new, I'm so happy you're here! And happy pride!

Pride month used to be a time for nothing but celebration to me. But now, as June rolls around, I feel more of a batten-down-the-hatches energy taking hold. Last year saw so many counter-protests, defamations of pride displays, and blatant homophobia & transphobia that I'm mentally preparing myself to see that happen again this year. As our culture war deepens and grows, so will the attacks on what is apparently the most inflammatory month to conservatives. And while this change is certainly disheartening, it also gives Pride a chance to return to its roots. Pride has always been about resistance and joy in the face of oppression. So, in that spirit, I wanted to give you thirteen things to help you have a Pride that's not only joyous but powerful.

1. Be Proud (In Your Own Way)

• This is the most important place to start. There are so many ways to celebrate who you are. Some people like to go dance the night away, others prefer to march, and others prefer a more low-key approach. All of these are valid ways to celebrate your own identity. So take a look within and see what feels most authentic to you.

2. Get Political

• Pride started as a protest, and in the past 54 years, our rights have grown, but there's still endless work to be done. My friend Brian Derrick started a company called Oath that is changing how political donations happen in this country. There are no endless texts, and you can split your donations evenly to the causes you care most about. His team does all the research for you. As the election cycle gears up, I cannot recommend it highly enough. The link below will walk you through setting up an account; what are you waiting for?

3. Spread Kindness

• If money is tight, then share something even more personal: spread a little kindness. I'm sure you know one person in your life who is part of the LGBTQ+ community. Reach out to them and let them know how much they mean to you, not in spite of but because of their identity. It will mean so much more than you know.

4. Get Off (The Internet)

• Once you've let those people know how much they mean to you, get off the internet. I mean it. Even researching the news about Pride, I saw some pretty horrific things in the comments section. Arguing with homo/transphobes on the internet will do nothing for you but make you more upset. Your energy is too precious to spend on people whose minds you can't change. If you really want to, have a hard conversation in person with someone instead.

5. Shop Queer (When Possible)

• June is full of companies trying to get you to buy their pride collections. Over the years, the amount of companies talking the talk has grown, but not all of them are walking the walk. So, if you can, support queer-owned businesses when buying your pride merch. Here is a link to some LGBTQ+ apparel companies, and here is a link to general LGBTQ+ companies to support year-round!

6. Research

• If number 5 is not for you, that is totally fine. It can be a lot of work and steps to seek out LGBTQ+ businesses. So, how do you interact with the massive companies that produce Pride merchandise? For a while, the debate around rainbow capitalism (companies using queer imagery for profit without actually supporting the community) has raged and enraged many. I tend to look at rainbow capitalism as a benchmark around whether or not it's profitable to support queer people. Last year, Bud Light and Target got caught in the backlash of conservative outrage and learned the financial burden of supporting queer people. So I feel as though it's important to support them if you can, but do the research to know what companies actually support queer people and don't just slap a rainbow logo on their socials. Here is a helpful list to start from the Human Rights Campaign.

7. Buy Something Small

• Finally, if you are walking around and see a pride display, buy something from it. Even if you don't necessarily want it, you can give it as a gift. In a capitalist country, we speak with our dollars, and your purchase will signal to that company that people want pride merch, so they will continue to put the displays up even in the face of conservative backlash.

8. Learn Some History

• Once you've shown your capitalist support (if you can), then pick up a book about LGBTQ+ history or watch a movie or TV show. A quick Google search can bring up articles you might find informative if you're short on time. Or you could even go back and read an old edition of Gay Buffet. Below are some helpful lists of materials to check out!

  • A List of Gay Historical Fiction Films

  • 10 Films About Queer History

  • Books About Queer History

9. Correct People (Politely)

• This one is simple, but can prove quite challenging. Go out of your way to make sure that people use folks' correct pronouns and names! I've noticed it can be particularly challenging for people to always remember to use they/them and all you have to do is a simple "them" when someone uses the wrong pronoun. But it goes a long way to make sure that the person in question doesn't feel invalidated or invisible.

10. Hype Up A Stranger

• In a similar vein, if you see someone bedecked in a fabulous outfit, let them know you think it's great! I saw a person in an incredible sequined look with heels and a full beard last year on the subway and thought about how much courage that must take in this day and age. So I told them that they looked incredible. It's not much, but it can really help create a welcoming world for all.

11. Support Marginalized Communities

• Queerness intersects with many other marginalized communities, and the LGBTQ community has so many complex and nuanced facets within it. If you can, take a moment to find things that are not just LGBTQ, but LGBTQ and Black, or Femme, or AAPI, or differently abled. The Queer experience looks different for everyone, and it's vital to uplift all voices.

12. Get Outside

• This one is simple, too! Find an event that speaks to you and just wander around with other Queer people. There are so many different kinds of pride events, such as marches, parties, festivals, music, screenings, poetry readings, and so on. You don't even have to go with anyone. Sometimes it can be so lovely to just be alone surrounded by Queer people.

13. Be Joyous

• This one is my favorite. There is nothing more rebellious and defiant than being happy in the face of oppression. If we let bigots take our joy, then they've truly won. Your Queer joy or your allied support is the strongest weapon we have on our march toward equality. So go out there, be proud, and be joyous. 

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I hope you enjoyed this list, and if you did, it would mean a lot for you to share it. Maybe send it to a friend or a queer person you know. It would definitely mean a lot to me and it might mean a lot to them too! Til next time, stay safe, stay joyous, and stay proud y’all.