Are You Getting Close (Friends)?

How Gay Sex is Affected by Instagram

There's an undeniable thrill when I open Instagram and see a neon green circle at the top of my feed. It means only one thing: someone I know is getting spicy.

See, Instagram launched a feature called close friends in 2018 in order to help its users curate a VIP list of people who could see their private stories. The feature was an instant hit and, naturally, the gays (as we do best) started to push the limits of how sexuality could infuse this new feature. Suddenly, we could post thotty pictures that our bosses would never see. We could flirt without fear of a family member catching wind. No need for a second account. No need for stress. Now, we could just tap "Close Friends" and show whatever we wanted to whoever we wanted.

In the intervening years, close friends has become its own form of gay culture. It's not uncommon for gay men to use it as a sort of barometer for interest. You follow someone, like a few of their pictures, and if they like some back, you add them to your close friends. It's a new step in the timeline of digital flirting.

@thepinkverandah on Instagram

But what is close friends actually doing to us? Is it a haven of sexual liberation, or is it a stand-in for real connection? Are we finding new ways to connect, or are we blurring the lines between sexual desire and instant validation? I wanted to know these answers, so I sent out a survey and did some sleuthing. What I found was deeply horny and surpsingly lovely.

If you're curious and want to unlock every sexy tidbit, subscribe below! I'm aiming for 100 paid subscribers (19 to go!) so I can get the Bestseller Checkmark from Substack (and the good, good legitimacy that comes with it). I'm running my $1/mo special until I hit that milestone! Subscribers get a year's worth of these spicy emails for less than the price of one cocktail. If you can spare it, it would really mean the world to me.

Now let's find out what close friends is really doing to the gays.