Man, Do I Love Women...

A thank you letter.

Oftentimes, I write about men, and that makes sense. I'm a gay man who writes a Substack called Gay Buffet—but today, in honor of Women's History Month, I want to celebrate the incredible women who have shaped my life and the lives of so many gay men.

As the current administration tries to erase the honorifics that uplift minorities, such as Pride Month, Women's History Month, Black History Month, and more, it feels important to celebrate these bonds however we can. And as parts of our society revert towards this strange exultation of masculinity that is both toxic and terrifying, I think it is so important to embrace femininity in all its forms.

So today, I want to honor the women who have been there for us, who have fought beside us, and who continue to inspire every single day.

If this is your first time reading Gay Buffet, welcome! And if you’re enjoying what you’re reading, I’d love for you to subscribe below. Your support makes it possible for me to dedicate time each week to research, write, and bring you more Queer content like this. I’m glad you’re here!

• Boston's city council voted 12-1 to declare the city a sanctuary for LGBTQ+ people, ensuring it won't enact or comply with anti-LGBTQ+ policies. The resolution protects access to gender-affirming care, reproductive services, and HIV/AIDS treatment.

• An Ohio appeals court ruled that gender-affirming care for minors is essential medical treatment and that banning it violates the state’s Health Care Freedom Amendment. Originally passed by Republicans to limit government intervention in healthcare, the amendment is now protecting access to Trans healthcare.

• A federal judge has halted Texas A&M’s Republican-backed ban on drag performances. The court ruled the ban likely violates the First Amendment, rejecting justifications tied to executive orders from Trump and Abbott opposing “gender ideology.”

The Women Who Raised Us

Thank you to the mothers, aunts, grandmothers, and more who made the space for us to be the 'different' boys that we wanted to be. Whether that was letting us try on your sparkling red heels or making space for us to cry when we were sad, you guided us through our first steps of life. You taught us at an early age that feminine traits are nothing to run from and that emotions and empathy are traits to be celebrated. And for those who may not have had this support at home, the teachers, caregivers, and nannies who assumed the mantle of parents were lifesavers.

The Girls Who Grew Up With Us

Thank you to the girls who we first got to know as we took shaky steps into kidhood. I always gravitated towards my girls. The ones who let us play house during recess instead of sports. To the girls who always made sure to invite me to their birthday parties even when the boys didn't. To the ones who always made me feel safe and never questioned if I was a little different. With you, I never felt different; I felt safe.

The High School Girlies

Thank you to the girls who truly became family and who are still in my life to this day. To those who sat with me outside the local Starbucks as we gossiped about who liked who or sang show tunes at the top of our lungs driving around empty cul-de-sacs with nothing else to do. These were the girls who made space for me to process my sexuality and who celebrated me harder than anyone else when I came out. To have been able to watch them grow from girls to the inspiring women they are today makes me teary-eyed when I think about the kids we were almost two decades ago.

The Women In Our Screens

Thank you to the moms, sisters, and aunts who read Gay Buffet or my notes and then write to me to tell me how much they love their gay sons, brothers, uncles, or friends. To the women who ask if allies are welcome too, and yes, of course you are. We would be nowhere without our allies who help spread the word, like those incredible women who helped start PFLAG and GLSEN. We are nothing without the support of those closest to us or even those we've never met but who fight for us anyway.

The Women Who Fought With Us

Thank you to women who fought for the Rights of all Queer folk even when the world was against them. To the incredible trailblazers like Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera, who kicked off the most memorable riot for Queer rights in history. To Audre Lorde, whose words have captured the spirit and minds of generations. To Ellen, who came out before the world was ready and built an empire showing what gay women could be. To Laverne Cox, MJ Rodriguez, and Alexandra Billings, who tell beautiful stories that reach thousands. And to Sarah McBride, Zooey Zephyr, and Rachel Levine, who are fighting for the rights of Trans people, all while standing strong under unimaginable scrutiny and vitriol.

The Women Who Stand Beside Us

Thank you to the women who are there with us through adulthood. To the best friends who are there with a snuggle on the couch. To the ones who fly in and come straight to your house to gab. To the ones who come over when you just need a good cry or the ones who text you when they know something is wrong but that you don't have the strength to reach out by yourself. Maybe they've been friends since childhood, maybe they're coworkers, maybe they're new friends, but their presence makes the world and our lives immeasurably better.

All The Women Out There

From the bottom of my heart, thank you. The bond between gay men and women is a beautiful, sacred thing. There is a safety that is hard to describe and a connection that feels at once delicate and tender but unbreakable and fierce.

I would be lost without the women in my life. And at a time when the rights of women and gay men are under siege, it is time to strengthen our connections, honor these women, and stand tall together in the face of what is to come.

So, thank you. Thank you to the women who raised us and the girls who helped us grow up and learn about the world. Thank you to the women who helped us come out or welcomed us with open arms. Thank you to the women who inspire us and support us daily. Thank you to the women who have taught us how to fight and continue to fight each and every day. Thank you to the women who show us what strength looks like. Thank you to the women who've come before and who will come after.

I love you. Thank you.

In the spirit of Women’s History Month, I wanted to take this space to uplift some of my favorite Substack’s written by women!

hankycode

hankycode is a great Substack for those looking for really fascinating bits of Queer history. There’s a great mix of music, history, and current events and I have found some great new musicians to listen to as well!

Erin In The Morning

Erin is my go-to resource for Trans news. With thousands of subscribers, she is truly defining what grassroots Trans journalism looks like.

Down the Rabbit Hole

Jennie O’Connor writes mostly about how to grow your Substack and your personal brand. But what I’ve found invaluable is her ability to talk to multihyphenates and people who feel unable to lock themselves into a particular niche. And she does it all with a humor and wit that is so infectious.

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That’s all from me this week. I hope you have a great spring day, and in the spirit of the article, go tell a woman that you love her or you’re grateful for her (or you can even send her this article)!