Sex on the Dance Floor

The Unspoken Rules of Twirling, Touching, and More

I will never forget my first experience going to a gay party in New York.

I was fresh to the city, taken under the wing of a dear friend of mine, and utterly blown away by the brave new world I walked into off 28th Street. The music was blaring, the room was packed with sweaty, shirtless men, and I was deeply intimidated.

After a bit of acclimating, I made new friends, kissed some wonderful humans, and left tired and spent after an incredible six hours. I felt like I had tapped into a long lineage of gay culture, one that has been written in dark rooms with pounding beats and strobing lights.

Now, I know that this vibe is not for everyone and can become quite riddled with complexities, but today, I’m exploring the sexual side of the dance floor. What is so intoxicating about the dance floor to gay men? What rules do we abide by when someone slips a hand into our waistbands? How do we give consent when the music is too loud to talk? Are you allowed to suck d*ck in the club? And are people really fucking on the dance floor?

This article has the answer to all that and more, just in time for Pride weekend. If you’ve ever wondered what’s actually happening in the dark room (or just want to navigate them better yourself), I’ve got you. You’re gonna want to read the whole girthy article.

A quick note before we get into it: this newsletter exists because of paying subscribers. Your support lets me treat this like the job it is, not just writing, but researching, marketing, and building this queer community I love being a part of. So, if you value thoughtful discourse, sexy articles, and queer storytelling please consider subscribing for the low price of $6/month. That's less than the price of one gay iced coffee. If you can swing it, your support truly means the world to me.

Also! As a fun treat, I was on the incredible Into The Mud podcast yesterday talking about my own complex feelings about Pride (yes, I’m working on my relationship to it too)! Drew and Alex, the cohosts, are so incredible, and it would mean a ton if you listened and gave them a follow. They do deep dives into all the nitty-gritty complexities of life, and I can’t get enough of the pod!

Okay, now let’s get sexy!