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The Bed Always Wins

The Bed Always Wins

Comfort or Thrill in Queer Sexual Relations

Aidan Wharton's avatar
Aidan Wharton
May 30, 2025
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The Bed Always Wins
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Picture this: you’re on a couch. With a lover. Things are starting to heat up.

But suddenly, you’re aware of the open window next to you. What if someone looks in?

You feel a little tingle. Is this excitement or nerves? Are you turned on by the fact that someone might catch a glimpse?

For many, the line between thrill, excitement, and nerves can sometimes be confusing and hard to detangle. Some of us thrive on the thrill in order to get turned on, while others want a more comforting, safe environment to really relax and get loose (literally).

From beds to bathhouses, couches to corner bars, Queer people have often had to get creative with our lovemaking, not just how we do it, but where we can do it. Because our right to love and how we express it have never been guaranteed.

Now, even though the time of criminalization is behind us (in the States), the thrill of cruising and a public rendezvous is still strong. So I wanted to get to the bottom of it: when it comes to sex, which is more important, thrill or comfort?

Turns out, most of us are doing something very different than what we claim to want. The results are pretty wild, and who knows, they might even change your habits.

If you're curious and want to unlock every sexy tidbit, subscribe below! Subscribers get a year's worth of these spicy emails for less than the price of one cocktail. If you can spare it, it would really mean the world to me on my journey of supporting myself through my writing!

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