The Gay Need to Be Exceptional

And ways to fix it.

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Hi, my name is Aidan, and I am addicted to gay excellence.

No, really, I was talking to my therapist yesterday, and when he asked me what motivates me, I thought for a moment and then answered with, "The need to be exceptional."

I let the words hang in the air for a moment and then doubled down. There's this deep desire in me to be impressive and unforgettable. It stems from a myriad of places, but what I remember most is how, as a kid, my two favorite compliments were, "You seem so much older than you are," or "You're so mature for your age." Those two statements told me that I was special and different from other kids. And they masked the other kind of difference that I felt but couldn't name yet.

And it's not just me. So many other gay men I know have this same drive to be exceptional. It influences every part of our lives. From the way we make money to the reasons we have sex, this need for excellence is baked into it all. It's a defense mechanism, a status marker, and a survival method.

There's even a name for it: The Best Little Boy In The World.

So, if you've ever felt like you need to be incredible in order to be worthy…

If you've ever felt like you've had to keep up with the gays to not be left behind…

Or if you're just feeling tired of being exceptional all the time…

This one is just for you.

Keep reading to find out the surprising science behind what makes us feel this way and some tools we can use to start finally healing our innermost best little boy in the world.

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