They Want You Helpless. F*ck That.

How to Find Hope in America Today

These days, it feels like I’m living in two completely different worlds.

In one, spring is here. The weather is warming up, I’m seeing friends again, and Casey and I are deep in the throes of wedding planning. Life feels good and full of possibility.

In the other, Queer rights are being stripped away daily. Citizens are being abducted from their families. The White House has become a propaganda machine, churning out hateful memes under the flimsiest guise of humor. And there seems to be no way to stop any of it.

This cognitive dissonance is dizzying. It seeps into everything I do, how I write, how I move through the world, how I communicate, how I think about my future, even how I sleep.

On one hand, I tell myself that we have to keep living our lives in ways that feel ‘normal’ because living in a state of constant fear is what they want.

But on the other hand, I can’t stop wondering if I’m doing enough. But what does enough even mean? In a country where the individual has so little power, what can I actually do to enact change?

With those questions in mind, I sought answers from voices I trust.

Ezra Klein recently released an episode titled “The Emergency Is Here.” In it, Klein compares America to 1970s Argentina, a country on the brink of a brutal dictatorship, and by the end of the entire 72-minute episode, my spirits had fallen faster than the current separation between church and state. As Klein and former FBI agent Asha Rangappa unpacked the Kilmar Abrego Garcia case, exposing the legal loopholes Trump is exploiting and the unchecked power being amassed, I found myself stunned. I had to sit down on a bench as the horrors unfolded in my ears.

And then the podcast ended. It ended by calling on Congress to act, on big business to stand up to Trump, and emphasizing that the powerful are the only ones who can really scare Trump into action.

As I sat there, listening to the credits roll, I thought, “What about me? What can I do?”

I’m not a CEO. I’m not a hedge fund manager. I’m not a ‘powerful’ person. But I still need to know that I can do something. So I did what I did the day after the election, the last time I felt this way: I sat down to write what I wanted to hear. Because if I’m feeling this way, I know that I can’t be the only one.

Which is why I made this list. A list of simple and effective things that the everyday American can actually do. They might not make a huge difference to the country, but they’ll make a huge difference to me. They’ll remind me that I still have a say in making America the place that I dream it can be.

I hope they help you feel that way, too.

1. Set Hard Boundaries.

• If you let the news run your life, it’ll run you into the ground. I used to doomscroll like the best of us, but couldn’t stand the constant drip of anxiety. So now I time block my despair. I carve out a period of time when I allow myself to look at the news, let myself feel my feelings, take an action if I can, and then I stop. I tell myself I’m done, do a meditation, and move on with my day so I can show up again tomorrow.

2. Look At Your Local Elections

• The only way we, as individuals, can enact real political change is to start paying attention to every cycle. If we want to win in 2026 and 2028, we have to start looking at things now, even though it’s not fun and it’s not easy. As Trump attacks ActBlue and other democratic election resources, these fights may get harder. If you’re looking for somewhere to start, check out oath.vote!

3. Call Your Reps

• Don’t skip just because you, like me, don’t love talking on the phone. I’ve started doing it and it’s easier than I thought. Pro tip: If you’re really nervous, call after hours and leave a voicemail. That’s a low-stakes way to get comfortable with the language. 5 Calls is what I use, and even if you don’t make a call yet, having the app on your phone starts the process!

4. Spread The WORD!

• I didn’t download 5 Calls until someone I deeply trust posted about it. I didn’t listen to the podcast until someone I trust said it was a must-listen. Even if you don’t think it’s important, people are paying attention. Our personal connections matter. They’re how movements grow. So post those resources. Share this article. Share any article, post, or video that makes you feel something.

  • P.S. What’s even better than sharing is letting people know they inspired you. I told both of those people that they inspired me to take action because I wanted them to know that what they were doing worked. Positive reinforcement builds connection and spreads positivity. Don’t you want to be a source of positivity in someone’s day?

5. Nurture Connection

• Let this one be a joy. Life is hard, but you know that. So go out there and find things that make it easier. Find the people, activities, sights, or animals that fill your spirit up. No need to feel guilty about finding joy and happiness. We need those things to balance out the fight and the despair. Find your fuel for fighting and hold it tight.

6. Support The Arts

• Nothing scares a fascist more than an artist armed with the truth. This is why Trump is dismantling the Kennedy Center and attacking the National Endowment for the Arts. So go support your local community theatre, go listen to a concert, buy a Queer zine, buy a piece of art off Etsy. Not only will this be an act of resistance, but it will connect you to others and revitalize your own humanity. Art can move mountains.

7. Give People Some Grace

• No one will fight this fight the way you will, and most people won’t fight it the way you think they should. Let them fight it however they can. Bring them along on your journey if they want, but there’s no point trying to control their activism; it’ll just drive you apart. If someone isn’t fighting the way you want them to, go find someone who will. There’s too much at stake to waste our energy attacking each other. That’s what they want.

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So yes, Mr. Klein, the emergency is here. But so are we.

I may not be a politician or a billionaire, but those people have proven time and time again that they will not be the ones to save us. Aren’t we tired of watching these people with the means to enact change sit on their hands while our way of life crumbles?

I want to do something that quiets those racing thoughts that keep me up at night. I want to do something that makes me believe we will even have a country in the next 10, 15, or 50 years. I want to believe that there are people out there, countless across the country, who still believe in goodness, kindness, and the power of hope.

Because, like Harvey Milk said, “You cannot live on hope alone, but without it, life is not worth living.” So, become a champion of hope. That is the one thing that they cannot take away.

Hope is my fuel. It’s what keeps me reaching out and writing to all of you. Hope is what connects me to the mother of a gay son in Washington State, a Trans thrift store owner in Ohio, and an activist in Alabama. Hope is the thread that ties us all together because we believe that there are good people out there in a world worth fighting for.

We fight for a planet with clean air, beautiful streams, and thriving forests. We fight for equal rights for all people around the globe. We fight for Trans people to live in peace. We fight for Queer kids who constantly hear that they aren’t normal. We fight for our friends. We fight for our families. And we fight for the strangers we may never meet, but who matter anyway.

So please, take the hope you need. Take a breath. And do one thing today that makes you feel like part of the resistance.

I will.

As always,