We've Got Some Much to Be Grateful For

Notes From Me & You

Nov 28, 2024

Grateful for Bananagrams to help me make this image!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

I hope that wherever you are, you're spending this day in a way that brings you some peace and a bit of joy. The holidays can be a really hard time for all people and Queer people, especially for so many reasons. So if today is hard for you, know that that is normal and you are not alone.

Today will be short and sweet. Just long enough for you to read while you’re taking a break from being social. Read it in the bathroom while there’s fighting family in the other room, for all I care!

Almost every night, I get into bed and reach for my gratitude journal, and a few days ago, I did a little gratitude survey on Instagram. So in the spirit of both those things, I wanted to share some things I’m grateful for and some ways in which being Queer has affected y’alls gratitude. Unfortunately, all the submissions were anonymous, so I can't tell you who the quotes are from, but I hope you enjoy them as much as I have and if they’re yours, let me know!

Water

I've always been a child of water. As a kid, I grew up playing in the dirt and making mud rivers. I was never a huge beach kid, but I could spend hours in the ocean. I love a pool or a hot tub; there's something so peaceful about being submerged and at peace. But most of all, I love watching water. My favorite places in the city are wherever I can watch the water run by. And it feels particularly cozy that it’s raining in New York this morning.

I particularly feel and express gratitude for my LGBT+ friends, and feel incredibly grateful I get to be part of this community. To be on this side of the coin, approach knowledge from this angle and experience this way. Do I sometimes think it would be easier not to be personally affected by the issues I care about? Sure. And though I intersect many different marginalized identities, I am very privileged in my presentation and in the way I can move through this world. Still, I cannot and refuse to forget how every facet of my personhood is tied to my identity, my history, my family's history, and my disabilities, and that my queerness is tied to it all.

Community

This is a big one, and I am grateful for it in all its forms. I'm grateful for my immediate community of family (chosen and otherwise), who I can turn to when things get hard. I'm grateful for my community of friends who recharge my social batteries and bring me so much joy. I'm grateful for my community of acquaintances, from who I learn new things and who make me feel like I have a place in the global scheme of things. I'm grateful for my internet community who make all the ills of social media worth it. And I'm so grateful for this community that makes sitting down at my computer each week an honor.

It's easy to forget, to look at the world and lament, so I try to remember that I GET to be queer; I GET to be surrounded by amazing queer people who express love in so many different ways, who fight for human rights and put themselves on the line wherever they can. And I GET to do the same, to choose to support where others are obligated to act, which is a privilege in itself that I'm grateful I get to use.

Books

I would be nowhere without books. I was always a reader, but this past year has reinvigorated my love of reading like nothing else. I adore getting lost in a great story, attached to characters, and heartbroken when I turn the last page. To all the authors out there, thank you for your time and tales.

I suppose being queer has put me on a path to searching for meaning and truth my whole life, and I have so much gratitude for every genuine connection that has enhanced my sense of self.

Casey

This has been a really hard and incredible year for us for a myriad of reasons, and at the end of it all, I am left with nothing but gratitude. So often, you see couples talk about how incredibly in love they are and all the good feelings. That's easy for me to do, but I don’t like to do it often. Not because I don't feel those things but because those feel like the smallest manifestations of this incredible thing we call love. Those are the givens (hopefully) and dare I say it, a little boring. Casey, you make me feel all those rom-com feelings, but you also teach me, grow with me, try me, adore me, frustrate me, and so much more. And you love me for exactly who I am. You exist with me in every color of this life we live together, and I could not be more grateful for that.

Being Queer impacts my gratitude because there’s an inherent overwhelming sense of empathy as part of a historically ostracized community. I’ve met the kindest, most selfless, creative, wonderful humans who inspire endless gratitude solely just for existing.

Writing

This has been my biggest surprise this year. I started Gay Buffet, not knowing what I wanted it to be, and unlike most projects I start, it's stuck around. The support and love I've received from all of you have given me permission to love writing and even call myself a writer. I love sitting and distilling thoughts in ways that carry weight, depth, and nuance. It's an honor that you enjoy reading as much as I enjoy writing, and I hope that I continue to help you think about things a little differently for so much longer.

I think growing up with the adversity of being queer in a small town made me more empathetic, and that has evolved into compassion and gratitude. It’s attracted the best people into my life because we share common experiences, values, goals, etc., and I don’t have to worry often about the beliefs, political views, or love of the people in my life because we uplift each other.

Challenges

This one might seem out of sorts, but it's something I try to reflect on often. I've written before about how, biologically, we only grow and learn from failure since that used to keep us alive in the wilderness. So, even though it's hard to practice, I am grateful for my challenges. And in a time where we have so many more ahead of us, there is great strength in turning those challenges into something that works for you. Take the winter, for instance. Everything is harder in the winter, but the perseverance that we must exhibit to get what we want makes those things that much more gratifying. After all, an intentional, inhabited life is more satisfying than one on autopilot. It doesn’t negative the bad or make those feelings any less hard, but like a type of alchemy, I think it has the power to keep your spirits up in the times to come.

With that, I leave you. I hope you have a lovely rest of your day. I hope that you eat some good food, take some time for yourself, and let someone know that you’re grateful for them. And know that I am so, so grateful for you, dear reader.