Thank you Aidan for this article - and for sharing a bit of your yurt-to-NYC story. You made me realize that as an older gay man who survived the AIDS crisis, I often cry at Hallmark movies with a romantic ache of what I DON'T have - but often that the missing thing is a "benchmark" of a traditional hetero relationship (since that is what I was surrounded by growing up). There are new benchmarks and I forget that. And I cry easily! :)
Thank YOU for this comment David! Beyond just seeing the patterns, it’s a whole nother thing to unlearn them and sometimes it really takes nothing but time. It’s hard to not feel like we want the things we grew up with even if we rationally know they’re not for us.
And truthfully, some of those romantic things I DO want - but it takes effort on my part. Hallmark usually has the right guy magically appear. That doesn't happen too often in real life. Maybe it is time for a script about older gay men who have experienced so much over many decades, being surprised to find love. (and not just with some hot twunk, but a peer). Happy Gay Holidays to you and Casey. Thanks for your writings.
P.S. Aidan, your Christmas Consumerism article prompted me to make ornaments out of family photos to give to my nieces and nephew. A fun project, and super personal.
Diversity and inclusion are basic concepts that should not be so hard to understand. And yet, here we are... Personally, I'd be happy to have Hallmark continue to evolve into a more inclusive channel. But if that's too much to ask, how about establishing our own?
Fascinating. The thing I have realized about the lack of movies that work with this format about secular holidays or any other faith tradition’s holidays is what American Christmas is about. It is about Consumerism, “Family Values”, and for some that also comes tinged with Christian Nationalism… also very fox coded. Christmas is loaded with that stuff. American Christmas is also so consumerist it affected my holiday as well, Chanukah didn’t even used to be a present holiday (it’s still not in many countries worldwide!) and it’s not a major holiday.
Absolutely. There was a lot more capitalist analysis in the first draft of this piece that had to get cut for length and focus. Christmas is the best time for companies to make a profit and so they go all in on the emotional manipulation in order to do that. They take “joy, love, and cheer” and translate that into “buy, buy, buy.” It’s estimated that the average American is going to spend over $900 dollars on gifts this year and that number just keeps going up!
🫶🏼 I adore these conversations. And I’m also actually a HUGE fan of holidays… just not commercially and not putting all my Easter eggs in the Christmas basket lol. Capitalism and holidays are kinda awkward like how at least in New York, Party City realized that they could make a Buck off having costumes more prominent around Purim and Pride, not just Halloween.
Likewise! I think we've just really shifted our view about what Christmas means. Even this year, Casey and I are rethinking how we do presents and I can't help but feel "but if I don't buy you lots of things, you'll be sad or think I don't love you." From such a young age, gift giving becomes so wrapped up in affection.
Thank you for the review of Hallmark Christmas movie clichés. So true! I've always been suspicious of the Rural vs. City divide, when the country life is depicted as more authentic than the city life. Both have value, both have worth. But cities are vilified far out of proportion of reality, in some popular culture narratives. The themes formula poster was right on.
Thank you Aidan for this article - and for sharing a bit of your yurt-to-NYC story. You made me realize that as an older gay man who survived the AIDS crisis, I often cry at Hallmark movies with a romantic ache of what I DON'T have - but often that the missing thing is a "benchmark" of a traditional hetero relationship (since that is what I was surrounded by growing up). There are new benchmarks and I forget that. And I cry easily! :)
Thank YOU for this comment David! Beyond just seeing the patterns, it’s a whole nother thing to unlearn them and sometimes it really takes nothing but time. It’s hard to not feel like we want the things we grew up with even if we rationally know they’re not for us.
And truthfully, some of those romantic things I DO want - but it takes effort on my part. Hallmark usually has the right guy magically appear. That doesn't happen too often in real life. Maybe it is time for a script about older gay men who have experienced so much over many decades, being surprised to find love. (and not just with some hot twunk, but a peer). Happy Gay Holidays to you and Casey. Thanks for your writings.
P.S. Aidan, your Christmas Consumerism article prompted me to make ornaments out of family photos to give to my nieces and nephew. A fun project, and super personal.
Diversity and inclusion are basic concepts that should not be so hard to understand. And yet, here we are... Personally, I'd be happy to have Hallmark continue to evolve into a more inclusive channel. But if that's too much to ask, how about establishing our own?
Fascinating. The thing I have realized about the lack of movies that work with this format about secular holidays or any other faith tradition’s holidays is what American Christmas is about. It is about Consumerism, “Family Values”, and for some that also comes tinged with Christian Nationalism… also very fox coded. Christmas is loaded with that stuff. American Christmas is also so consumerist it affected my holiday as well, Chanukah didn’t even used to be a present holiday (it’s still not in many countries worldwide!) and it’s not a major holiday.
Absolutely. There was a lot more capitalist analysis in the first draft of this piece that had to get cut for length and focus. Christmas is the best time for companies to make a profit and so they go all in on the emotional manipulation in order to do that. They take “joy, love, and cheer” and translate that into “buy, buy, buy.” It’s estimated that the average American is going to spend over $900 dollars on gifts this year and that number just keeps going up!
🫶🏼 I adore these conversations. And I’m also actually a HUGE fan of holidays… just not commercially and not putting all my Easter eggs in the Christmas basket lol. Capitalism and holidays are kinda awkward like how at least in New York, Party City realized that they could make a Buck off having costumes more prominent around Purim and Pride, not just Halloween.
Likewise! I think we've just really shifted our view about what Christmas means. Even this year, Casey and I are rethinking how we do presents and I can't help but feel "but if I don't buy you lots of things, you'll be sad or think I don't love you." From such a young age, gift giving becomes so wrapped up in affection.
How sad is it that kids from low income families might think Santa decided they were bad?
Thank you for the review of Hallmark Christmas movie clichés. So true! I've always been suspicious of the Rural vs. City divide, when the country life is depicted as more authentic than the city life. Both have value, both have worth. But cities are vilified far out of proportion of reality, in some popular culture narratives. The themes formula poster was right on.