There are many who haven’t gotten far enough in their understanding of themselves/the culture that formed us to realize that you can simultaneously be deeply committed to someone and still enjoy having sex with others.
It tends to be the people who hate on open relationships the most who end up cheating because they repress their normal human desires and rail against those who’ve successfully worked to move past the traditional binary.
You’re doing good work Aidan! Im proud and happy you’ve built such a strong relationship 🫶
I don’t need to “understand it “ to accept it. I don’t understand many things , calculus for example 😉, and that’s ok. I fully accept it . Though humanity has additional parameters , more important than calculus : compassion and grace .
I want a world where we just accept other people . ✌️
You and your partner are role models and I sincerely appreciate that. A complicated situation for some and a life enhancer for others. Thanks for your honesty and bravery. It’s tough to be so viciously attacked by strangers.
Totally disagree with QPR. When it works for the couple it enriches their relationship and is a mature recognition that it’s wrong to expect all wants and desires to be met by one person. This is what ultimately destroys heterosexual relationships.
I'm sad by the comments you received, though not surprised. I listened to your pod with Casey and loved the honest discussion you had about so many aspects your relationship. Unfortunately there are people out there that would rather denigrate from fear any relationship that does not fit their idea of what works. I've been with my husband for going on 18 years, married for nearly 9 and we've had an open relationship in varying forms since the beginning. In fact our coupling began as a throupling (is that a word?), which I'm sure would open up all sorts of hate from the people giving it to you. What works for us may not work for others, but I would never presume to judge another's relationship as wrong just because it's different.
Please keep sharing yourself and your ideas through Substack and having such awesome conversations on Getting Close. The work your doing is important, and I'm likely just one of many who feel that way.
Scott! Thank you so much for this, truly. "What works for us may not work for others, but I would never presume to judge another's relationship as wrong just because it's different." Is a sentiment that I really try to embody and hope other people do too.
My husband and I had an open relationship, and it worked well for both of us. We understood that sex and love are separate things. I went home to him at night, only him. That's what made it work.
My life partner and I have been together fifteen years as of Saturday, August 1, 2026. It is the longest, most devoted, and most functional romantic relationship either one of us has ever had. It is also a mutually agreed upon open relationship. He infrequently has sex with other men, and he and I occasionally have sex with one other man, at the present time. Incidentally, I have been back in therapy for a little more than a year. In addition, he and I tell each other everything, and both of us are highly intuitive, so if something feels off, one or the other brings it up. It works for him, it works for me, and the level of love and devotion he and I have for each other is massive. I also do not understand why so many people have hate for open relationships. Personally, I have always been of the belief and the practice, in relationships and in other areas of life, that if no one is getting hurt, then do what you want.
Thank you for sharing this Robert! Obviously, I completely agree with you here. What works for one will not work for all, but if no one is getting hurt, why can't we all just live and let live? ♥️
Fantastic unfolding. The commentary is wild, too. Open relationships can work beautifully as long as consent and transparency prevail. Thank you, Aidan!
i thought this was a really thoughtful response to comments that, to your point, are often left to toss negativity into the ring like a grenade before they disappear.
i know! unfortunately it seems like people just use the comments to “dunk” on someone, or make corrections etc, and they aren’t really interested in any kind of connection
I want to commend the two of you for being so open and vulnerable publicly for the rest of us. I value your openness, honesty and willingness to share so much! Thank you for spreading love, community and friendship. 🥹❤️
I think couples have to do what works for them! I’m in a heterosexual monogamous relationship for 25 yrs married for most of it. It works for us, but I don’t judge if people are in open relationships if that is what makes them happy! Being mean or rude to you about your relationship is unacceptable behavior!
There are many who haven’t gotten far enough in their understanding of themselves/the culture that formed us to realize that you can simultaneously be deeply committed to someone and still enjoy having sex with others.
It tends to be the people who hate on open relationships the most who end up cheating because they repress their normal human desires and rail against those who’ve successfully worked to move past the traditional binary.
You’re doing good work Aidan! Im proud and happy you’ve built such a strong relationship 🫶
Aww, thanks for the support babe! I am so glad you're here!
I don’t need to “understand it “ to accept it. I don’t understand many things , calculus for example 😉, and that’s ok. I fully accept it . Though humanity has additional parameters , more important than calculus : compassion and grace .
I want a world where we just accept other people . ✌️
I love you so much. ❤️
Not as much as I love you baby. ♥️
You and your partner are role models and I sincerely appreciate that. A complicated situation for some and a life enhancer for others. Thanks for your honesty and bravery. It’s tough to be so viciously attacked by strangers.
Thank you so much for this Norman! It's challenging indeed, but the kind comments like this make it much more worth it. ♥️
Totally disagree with QPR. When it works for the couple it enriches their relationship and is a mature recognition that it’s wrong to expect all wants and desires to be met by one person. This is what ultimately destroys heterosexual relationships.
If two people agree and are happy and secure, that’s great.
I agree!
The hate is proof that the message is hitting. Sounds like you have the right attitude about it. Keep writing! <3
Thanks, Aidan, nicely said. Sorry you got flack from those disgruntled, unhappy folks.
Love, from uncle Eric
Thanks, Uncle Eric! Appreciate your love and support!
I'm sad by the comments you received, though not surprised. I listened to your pod with Casey and loved the honest discussion you had about so many aspects your relationship. Unfortunately there are people out there that would rather denigrate from fear any relationship that does not fit their idea of what works. I've been with my husband for going on 18 years, married for nearly 9 and we've had an open relationship in varying forms since the beginning. In fact our coupling began as a throupling (is that a word?), which I'm sure would open up all sorts of hate from the people giving it to you. What works for us may not work for others, but I would never presume to judge another's relationship as wrong just because it's different.
Please keep sharing yourself and your ideas through Substack and having such awesome conversations on Getting Close. The work your doing is important, and I'm likely just one of many who feel that way.
Scott! Thank you so much for this, truly. "What works for us may not work for others, but I would never presume to judge another's relationship as wrong just because it's different." Is a sentiment that I really try to embody and hope other people do too.
My husband and I had an open relationship, and it worked well for both of us. We understood that sex and love are separate things. I went home to him at night, only him. That's what made it work.
My life partner and I have been together fifteen years as of Saturday, August 1, 2026. It is the longest, most devoted, and most functional romantic relationship either one of us has ever had. It is also a mutually agreed upon open relationship. He infrequently has sex with other men, and he and I occasionally have sex with one other man, at the present time. Incidentally, I have been back in therapy for a little more than a year. In addition, he and I tell each other everything, and both of us are highly intuitive, so if something feels off, one or the other brings it up. It works for him, it works for me, and the level of love and devotion he and I have for each other is massive. I also do not understand why so many people have hate for open relationships. Personally, I have always been of the belief and the practice, in relationships and in other areas of life, that if no one is getting hurt, then do what you want.
Thank you for sharing this Robert! Obviously, I completely agree with you here. What works for one will not work for all, but if no one is getting hurt, why can't we all just live and let live? ♥️
Fantastic unfolding. The commentary is wild, too. Open relationships can work beautifully as long as consent and transparency prevail. Thank you, Aidan!
I completely agree, consent and transparency are key! Thanks for the kind words JW!
Keep up the good work- your visibility and candor are important!
Thank you Andrew! <3
i thought this was a really thoughtful response to comments that, to your point, are often left to toss negativity into the ring like a grenade before they disappear.
100%. I would actually really love to engage in dialogue with some of them, but that does not seem like the path they want to take!
i know! unfortunately it seems like people just use the comments to “dunk” on someone, or make corrections etc, and they aren’t really interested in any kind of connection
I want to commend the two of you for being so open and vulnerable publicly for the rest of us. I value your openness, honesty and willingness to share so much! Thank you for spreading love, community and friendship. 🥹❤️
Awww, thank you so much Mark!
I think couples have to do what works for them! I’m in a heterosexual monogamous relationship for 25 yrs married for most of it. It works for us, but I don’t judge if people are in open relationships if that is what makes them happy! Being mean or rude to you about your relationship is unacceptable behavior!
You are awesome and your love and relationships are valid!!