WOW -- and here I thought it's only women who have this LIFELONG problem. Most cis het men (that I know, and I know plenty) don't give a rat's A$$ whether they have muscles, beer bellies, or wear plaid with stripes. And yet, we women are judged CONSTANTLY. SIGH. Great points, Aidan! Do you think it may be waaaay tougher for gay men, in fact, than women?
Hey Meg! Yeah, it's pretty wild out there for both women and gay men. I'd hesitate to say who has it 'tougher' just because there are so many factors at play. Women have different standards around aging than men, even if bodywise it might be more comparable. But either way, we're both really under a lot more pressure and scrutiny than straight men!
OMG, yes to the aging -- it's literally sickening what women have to put up with in terms of age standards in any career. I can't say I've given up (being ahem years old) but I do make more of an effort when *I* want to -- although I have always been unconventional. Never did buy into "standard" beauty stuff. Being comfortable is far more important to me. Too bad if *anyone* thinks less, because to me, it's MORE! Great insights though, into gay men and body dysphoria. Eye opening.
Let me know if I can be of any assistance. There were so many good survey answers, clearly this is something a lot of people have a lot of feelings about and it needs to be talked about more!
On the writer side I sent you a thing and would love your impressions. On the life side… you already do all the time. Xo keep telling the stories you find especially yours.
This is beautiful! Thank you for this and also for the Moira Rose moment.
It's my favorite one! Her wisdom can't be matched!
WOW -- and here I thought it's only women who have this LIFELONG problem. Most cis het men (that I know, and I know plenty) don't give a rat's A$$ whether they have muscles, beer bellies, or wear plaid with stripes. And yet, we women are judged CONSTANTLY. SIGH. Great points, Aidan! Do you think it may be waaaay tougher for gay men, in fact, than women?
Hey Meg! Yeah, it's pretty wild out there for both women and gay men. I'd hesitate to say who has it 'tougher' just because there are so many factors at play. Women have different standards around aging than men, even if bodywise it might be more comparable. But either way, we're both really under a lot more pressure and scrutiny than straight men!
OMG, yes to the aging -- it's literally sickening what women have to put up with in terms of age standards in any career. I can't say I've given up (being ahem years old) but I do make more of an effort when *I* want to -- although I have always been unconventional. Never did buy into "standard" beauty stuff. Being comfortable is far more important to me. Too bad if *anyone* thinks less, because to me, it's MORE! Great insights though, into gay men and body dysphoria. Eye opening.
thank you for this, Aidan.
You're welcome :) glad you enjoyed it! Y'all are the best ❤️
Wow, I found that part about where the "ideal" body came from in queer history to be absolutely fascinating!
Thanks Nigel! Right? Isn’t it wild?!
The way so much of this echoes through my brain each day. 🫠
Right?! It's brutal and so so widespread...
As a cis white woman I relate to this deeply. I've seen it with many of my gay friends as well. Thank you Aidan! Great piece
Thank you for this comment Nicky! It's hard out there for us all!
😭😭😭😭 this topic is at the crux of my work as a writer and human and I’m so grateful for your insight and the insight of other gay men.
Let me know if I can be of any assistance. There were so many good survey answers, clearly this is something a lot of people have a lot of feelings about and it needs to be talked about more!
On the writer side I sent you a thing and would love your impressions. On the life side… you already do all the time. Xo keep telling the stories you find especially yours.